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Phone rules for kids — a family phone agreement template

Family fights about phones are rarely about minutes. They're about each person understanding the rules differently. "I said not for long!" — "It wasn't long!" One simple thing helps: write the agreement down. Together, in your own words, with signatures.

Below is a template. You can copy it, print it and fill it in in one evening.

Why an agreement works better than bans

  • The rules are known in advance. Your child doesn't find out about them the moment the phone is taken away.
  • Your child has a say. It's awkward to break a rule you suggested yourself.
  • The rules are for everyone. It helps if the agreement has points for adults too: "no phones at dinner — for anyone".
  • There's something to point to. Instead of "but you promised" — a sheet on the fridge.

How to have the conversation

  1. Pick a calm moment, not right after an argument.
  2. Start with why: "so we argue less and everyone gets enough sleep".
  3. Let your child say first what matters to them: games with friends, videos, music.
  4. Fill in the template together. Put the tricky points aside and come back to them in a week.
  5. Everyone signs. And agree when you'll review it.

Family phone agreement template

Copy the text below and fill in the blanks.

Our family phone agreement

We, ______________________ (child's name) and ______________________ (adults), agree:

Time

  1. On school days the phone can be used for up to ____ hours a day, at weekends up to ____ hours.
  2. This doesn't include: calls and messages to family, ______________________ (e.g. school apps, maps).
  3. If I need more time, I ask — e.g. "can I have 15 more minutes to finish?". The adults say yes or no and explain why.

Sleep and school 4. The phone is put away at : and stays ______________________ (e.g. on the charger in the hall) until morning. 5. During lessons and homework — only what's needed for school. 6. No phones at meals — for anyone, kids or adults.

Safety 7. I don't share my address, school, photos or where I am right now with strangers. 8. If something online is scary or unpleasant, or someone asks me to keep a conversation secret — I tell an adult. I don't get in trouble for that. 9. New apps and games are installed ______________________ (e.g. after we talk about them together). 10. If I'm out of touch for more than ____ minutes, the adults first ______________________ (e.g. call a friend or my teacher) instead of panicking.

Honesty on both sides 11. The adults don't secretly read my messages. If they can see something about my phone, I know exactly what. 12. The adults warn me in advance before taking the phone or closing apps.

If a rule is broken 13. The first time — we talk and look at the agreement again. If it keeps happening — ______________________ (e.g. ____ minutes less the next day). 14. Consequences never touch safety: the phone always stays usable for calling family and SOS.

Review 15. We review this agreement ______________________ (e.g. once a month or at the start of each term).

Signatures: ____________ ____________ ____________

Date: ____________

Tips for the points

  • How many hours? Start from what it is now and go down gradually. A sudden "from tomorrow, one hour a day" almost never lasts.
  • Where the phone sleeps. The most effective rule in the whole agreement. Sleep matters more than any setting.
  • Points for adults. Without them the agreement looks like a list of bans. With them, it looks like family rules.
  • Safety without punishment. Your child needs to know that telling you about something scary won't cost them their phone. Otherwise they'll simply stop telling you.

How an app helps you keep the agreement

The agreement is what matters. An app just helps you keep it, so you don't have to remind them every evening.

In KidPair many points of the agreement can become settings, and your child sees their rules on the "My rules" screen:

  • point 1 — the daily limit, separately for weekdays and weekends; Daily limit
  • point 2 — "Always allowed" apps that don't count towards the limit; App rules
  • point 3 — the child's "Ask for time" button and a one-tap answer from the adult; The child asks for more time
  • points 4–5 — "Sleep" and "School" schedules with a 5-minute warning; Schedules
  • point 9 — new apps only with permission;
  • point 10 — "arrived / left" notifications for school and home instead of checking the map all the time; Places
  • point 11 — the "What adults can see" screen: your child can always see which data the adults see and what they did; Learn more
  • point 12 — warnings before a block: no sudden lock in the middle of a game; Warnings
  • point 14 — SOS, calls and chat with the family work during any break or limit.

And so that time can be earned, there are tasks and Piri coins — they can be swapped for minutes. Piri coins and the jar

On how to do honest supervision without spying — a separate article.

How to try KidPair

KidPair runs on Android 10 and newer. Both apps are on Google Play: for the adult and for the child.

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